Ndimakhalanso ndi moyo

adanyamuka lero, ... ndakusiyirani masiku angapo ... ndidzawerenga mauthenga anu ndikabwerako.

Tsikulo, ku eyapoti tidamuyendetsa pa njinga ya olumala yosawoneka bwino, mawonekedwe ake achisoni adatanthauzira kukalamba komwe adamugoneka milungu itatu, kukumbatirana kwake kudasokoneza moyo wanga, kuzolowera zovuta zomwe ndidayimitsa masentimita makumi asanu ndi limodzi Ndinatembenuka mozungulira mokondwerera. Panthawiyi adandibweretsa pafupi ndi thupi lake, ndikufinya masamba anga ndi manja ake ndikuphwanya kuwunika kodzala ndi chiyembekezo chakutali.

"Tikumananso," adatero.

Chilichonse chinachitika modzidzimutsa, tsiku lina, adadzuka akugwedezeka; mkono wake wamanzere ndi mwendo unakhala ngati mfuti ya 22 ndi chikwangwani pankhope pake chikuwoneka ngati chikuwonetsa nkhope. Mlongo wanga, mothandizidwa ndi woyendetsa taxi, adamunyamula kupita naye kuchipatala chaku Sanjatepeque, komwe adamuwongolera kwa milungu itatu, pomwe nthawi imeneyi adaletsa miyendo yake.

"Nditha kukweza miyendo yanga," adatero. Koma ndikayika phazi langa ndikumva kuwawa ngati kuti ndagona, komwe kumafewetsa mawondo anga.

Kunali chotupa cha muubongo chomwe chinagwedeza ubongo wake, ali ndi zaka makumi asanu ndi awiri mphambu zisanu ndi zitatu iye anakumbukira nthawiyo pamene anali wachichepere amavutika ndi dzanja lowuma, adanenanso zamtundu wina womwe umabwera nthawi ndi nthawi, ndi ma spark angapo omwe adawona m'masiku ena pomwe Miyezo inkaoneka kuti ikumusiya. Komabe, adakhala ndi izi moyo wake wonse, mphamvu zake pakupeta ng'ombe, kuwiritsa mwana wa ng'ombe kapena kunyamula quzalcal sikunalole kuti asokonezedwe ndi kuopseza kwaposachedwa komwe kunali muubongo wake; ndiye zaka makumi awiri adakhala ku United States, ali ndi "chitetezo chamtundu wa anthu" chomwe chimawongolera ma triglycerides ake komanso kupepuka kwa ntchito yowoneka bwino adagona ndikuwopseza mpaka kubwerera kumadera otentha, komwe amadya nyemba zabwinobwino ndikupita kwa dokotala zokhazokha zadzidzidzi .

Ndi kangapo m'moyo mukuganiza kuti nthawi yakukhalira ndi abambo anu idzachepetsedwa, kukumbukira konse kwamakumbukidwe kanu kumakuwomberani chidwi musanapite kuulendo womwe palibe kuthawirako. Mwinanso kumva kusangalala kwakanthawi kochepa komwe kunali pafupi komanso ambiri omwe analipo patali kumabweretsa mtendere wamalingaliro pazopanga, ndipo ngakhale pali mwayi woti atidikirire kwa nthawi yayitali, mukufunanso kuchira motsimikiza.

Moyo ndi wafupikitsika, zikuwoneka ngati dzulo pomwe adandiphunzitsa kugawaniza ndi ziwerengero ziwiri, pomwe adandiphunzitsa kusambira malo ozungulira, pomwe adandipatsa masenti makumi awiri kwa Pliny, pomwe tonse tonse tidalirira chete tisanafike zaka khumi ndi ziwiri Zaka za Farabundo Martí, nditha kukumbukira tsiku latsopanoli, kuyambira zaka khumi tanyamuka, tafika kunyumba yomwe tidabadwira, a Matapalo akudya kanjedza. Ndikuthokoza chifukwa cha mphindi zomwe tidakhala pamwala, kuphiri la Zatoca, kumpoto kwa El Salvador; mafuta owerengeka mafuta monga ma guanacos, dzira losankhidwa, nyemba za chilipuco ndi msuzi wopaka pamtima kuti tisiye kunama kwathu, pomwe kwa masiku awiri adadzipereka kuti andionetse malire aliwonse amalo mwachangu momwe theka lililonse la kilomita limayima mu nkhani za nthawi zonse; lilime lakuthwa m'magombe, Chilica m'misonkhano, chotengera pakona cha Yudasi, skunk yomwe idatulutsa nkhope yake. Nditha kuwauzanso kambirimbiri, ndikadakondwerabe nawo koyamba; Umu ndi momwe mwambo wofotokozera nkhani mu prose wokhala ndi mizere iwiri kapena itatu wobadwa nawo munthawi yomweyo kuseka kwawo.

Pakadali pano, ndimasungitsa nkhani yake iliyonse mu mtima mwanga, ndikumutumizira imelo kuti awerenge, ngakhale amamasulira ku zomwe akuganiza kuti akufuna kumva pakalibe chidaliro chathu Tsiku lina tinafika. Sizingatheke kuti ndilankhule naye, ngati atatero, nthabwala zabwino zomwe adandiphunzitsa zikananditsogolera kuti ndimuwuzeni zinthu mwa njira yokhayo yomwe timalankhulira nthawi zonse, munjira yankhanza.

- Moni bwana, ndiuzeni chifukwa chake sanadule mutu wanu. -Tikatero timatha kuseka ngati tsiku lomwelo kupaki, pomwe adandiuza mwanjira yomweyo. - Iwe wofooka kwambiri, momwe ungafikirere anzawo opunduka, sizikuwoneka kuti sunafike mwana wa ng'ombe masiku atatu.

Pamene akuyembekezera kuti awone zomwe wopanga apanga, ndikuyembekeza kuti adzamukumbatiranso. Kusazindikira, mtunda ndikudikirira chemotherapy yachisanu ndi chinayi nzoipa.

—Othandizira— Julio 2007
Sabata ino adabwerako pambuyo pa miyezi ya 9 ku United States, sanataye tsitsi lake ndi chemo, ali ndi thanzi ndipo ali ndi malingaliro abwino osangalala ndi masiku ake pano ku Siguatepeque, Honduras ... zikomo chifukwa cha mapemphero anu.

—Yambitsani - Julayi 23 2008
Adachoka lero.